....................

Can’t find the answers
I’ve been crawling on my knees
Looking for anything
To keep me from drowning

Promises have been turned to lies
Can’t even be honest inside
I'm running backwards
Watching my life wave me goodbye
Running blind
I’m running blind
Somebody help me see I’m running blind

Searching for nothing
Wondering if I’ll change
I’m trying everything
But everything still stays the same

I thought if I showed you I could fly
Wouldn’t need anyone by my side
I'm running backwards
With broken wings I know I’ll die
Running blind
I’m running blind
Somebody help me see I’m running blind

Running blind
Running blind
Running blind

(Running Blind - Godsmack)

Lightning Struck

On a cold, wet afternoon
In a room full of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we want to go

In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there
Alone

And on my deathbed I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The wine was bled
And there you led me on

In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there
Alone
Alone

And on I read
Until the day was gone
And I sat in regret
Of all the things I've done
For all that I've blessed
And all that I've wronged
In dreams until my death
I will wander on

In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there
Alone
Alone

(Like a stone - Audioslave)

General Post Office - DUBAI

Philately used to be a hobby about a deacde ago. If nothing else, "first day covers" were the reason to go to the post office. I never thought this hobby would die such a miserable death after internet, browsing and email take over its simplicity and exclusivity. Electronic medium of postage has its advantages but I always thought these were few and shotrlived. Now, there is no reason to go to the Post Office as everything is available at the touch of a button or click of a mouse. So, today I made the decision of thinking a hundred times before going to the post office again. The reason however, was very non-electronic.

As I entered the post office after donkey years, I realized that the governement of Dubai is feeling the credit crunch the most because no one was being paid to clean the place. Probably they were waiting for everyone to leave before they get someone. There was paper in every shape and form lying on the floor for reasons unknown. Recycling has not been this city's favorite choice for saving the planet.

I took a number from one of the machines which says "Please take a number, and wait for your turn". This one had multiple options but were all taped and only one option was available which had the word "ALL" written on it. I took a number, a lucky "013" and thought of waiting which was of no use because I looked around and there was only one person waiting and there were 6 people on the service desks. I waited for a bit and realized that the numbers are not working and the person waiting is either insane or waiting for the post office to shut down so that she could sleep there. Whatever the reason I went ahead to one of the service representatives.

I: "Hi, I need to send these documents to Pakistan"
She-1: Mute. Looks around as if she has lost her doggie. Hands me a piece of paper to write the addresses and points to a place where I can find a pen. The mute mode continued all through.

I filled out the form and went back, this time there was someone else with She - 1 so I went to She - 2.

I: "Hi, I have filled this out, can I have a big envelope please?"
She - 2: "No, we dont have any"
I: "Ok, but .................... "
She - 2: Looking at me with with her eyes clearley saying "That aint my f!@#% problem"
I: Already had an old, half torn envelope so thought of saving my sanity for a rainy day. "Ok, can I send it in this envelope?"
She - 2: "Yes, sure. Write the address on it". Mute. Points to the same place to find a pen.
I: "Do you have any glue?", I asked.
She - 2: Head down concentrating on something which was obvisouly much more important. "There only".

I did what I had to do to make sure everything was ok. Came back, this time both She -1 and She -2 were busy. They were not busy helping a customer, but busy ignoring my presence. So, I went to She -3.

I: Standing in front of her. She is focussed on the monitor trying to read something which obviously was in a foreign language - english. Ignores me with a permanent hostile face expression which gave me a feeling that she had Botox during PMS. No Hi/Hello this time. "I need to send this to Pakistan"
She - 3: After about 9 seconds takes the envelope from me (still trying to figure out what language is on the screen) weighs it, finds out the amount and looks at me. No word. Mute.
I: To myself, 20.25. I took out a dh 50 bill and a dh 1 coin and gave it to her to get back 30.75 because I did not want 4 extra coins. No word. Mute
She - 3: Takes the 50 and the 1, puts it in the register. Counts. Counts harder. And counts again. After three attempts she takes the calculator and punches:
"50 + 1 =" 51 "- 20.25 = " 30.75
Takes a dh 20 and dh 10 bill and looks at me.
I: Thinking that maybe she wants a tip or something. But realized she does not want to put in the effort to get me the rest of the change.

I: "Dont worry about the .75".

I: walked out, mute.

Voodoo

I'm not the one who's so far away
When I feel the snake bite enter my veins.
Never did I wanna be here again,
And I don't remember why I came.

Candles raise my desire,
Why I'm so far away.
No more meaning to my life,
No more reason to stay.

Freezing, feeling,
Breathe in, breathe in...
I'm coming back again...

I'm not the one who's so far away
When I feel the snake bite enter my veins.
Never did I wanna be here again,
And I don't remember why I came.

Hazing clouds rain on my head,
Empty thoughts fill my ears.
Find my shape by the moonlight,
Why my thoughts aren't so clear.

Demons dreaming,
Breathe in, breathe in...
I'm coming back again...

I'm not the one who's so far away
When I feel the snake bite enter my veins.
Never did I wanna be here again,
And I don't remember why I came.

(Voodoo, Godsmack)

Return to source

Remo had no intentions of reading the entire newspaper. Normally he would read only the headlines in the restroom. Today he was having a hard time just holding it. Last night flashed in front of him and all he could remember was his last drink. Its back to work today and the hangover is killing his nerves. He put the newspaper down after reading the quote of the day - "All that lives a life, lives a journey back to its source - anonymous".

********

Lavina had her final research paper due tomorrow. World Theology was not her favorite subject, but she had to complete enough credits to graduate. Bored with the subject she started reading the college newspaper. 'The world is coming to an end' she thought after reading the news about all the wars. She then put the paper on the table after reading the quote of the day - "All that lives a life, lives a journey back to its source - anonymous".

********

Boisa was a small college town. Not many knew it existed. Those who visited as travelers would get spell bound by its outer glow and natural beauty and leave with everlasting memories. Those who stayed spent a lifetime understanding its unusual charm and mysticism that lied within its streets and homes. Many however, were lost travelers as there weren’t too many roads that led to Boisa.
In the centre of the town was the only college, "The Wedgelonk". The student population of the college was not that high - one because it was difficult to pass the admission test and two because very few people knew about Boisa. The college had many education disciplines but the really good ones were department of music and department of religious studies. Students were proud to be part of this college and moreover to be part of Boisa.

****************

"Today's gonna be a looong day", thought Remo after getting out of the restroom. As an RJ, Remo played hard rock music for the Wedgelonk's radio station. He had a 1hour slot, twice every 4 hours. This not only paid for his expenses but as a student majoring in music, this was the best job he could get and he knew it. He would listen to his favorite music all day long and understand it during classes. He was living a dream in reality.

Like every human, Remo would look for inspiration and for a good reason too - he had to choose a theme for his radio program everyday. When it came to hard-rock music he was brilliant and never took much time to come up with something new and refreshing. He had a huge collection of FLAC files that he had collected over the years. Today however, his mind was completely blocked. As he approached to the radio station to start his hour he realized he did not have a theme.

Remo knew the college loved him. He could play anything he wanted and everyone would get entertained. But he had a reputation to carry. For him, his reputation and self integrity was beyond everything. He looked around and asked questioned the materials for inspiration but nothing. He then looked at the daily college newspaper once again. The quote read: "All that lives a life, lives a journey to its source".

As the students came out of their classes they were pleasantly surprised to hear classic rock on the radio. Remo just kept playing what started it all - from rock n roll to blues rock to jazz rock to punk to grunge. He went through a journey of realization. He understood what the quote meant. There was however, more to this realization.

********

This was Lavina's last semester. As an average student she had spent most of her time in college hanging out with friends and lazing out in her apartment. She was not particularly interested in going to classes and hence bunked almost all of them. 'This is the reason I cannot think of a topic. If only I had attended the classes', she thought. It was however too late to think. It was time to act.

She took the 'learners walk' to the Wedgelonk library. Legend had it that some of the most learned and successful alumni walked the ‘learners walk’ to the library. As Lavina crossed it, she felt safe as if the long stream of leaning trees bowed on both sides in her presence and covered her path from the outside as she went on a mystical journey of learning. She entered the library full of inspiration.

Browsing through various journals and books she could not find anything worth writing a paper on. She did not take any classes today thinking that she will have enough time to complete the research paper. Every book she picked, she would read a few pages and put it back on the shelf. She then picked a translation of Rumi's Masnavi and read:

I died as inanimate matter and arose a plant,
I died as a plant and rose again an animal.
I died as an animal and arose a man.
Why then should I fear to become less by dying?
I shall die once again as a man
To rise an angel perfect from head to foot!
Again when I suffer dissolution as an angel,
I shall become what passes the conception of man!
Let me then become non-existent, for non-existence
Sings to me in organ tones, "To him shall we return"

After reading the poem, Lavina remembered the quote of the day: "All that lives a life, lives a journey to its source". In the next few hours she finished the research paper. It was titled "RUMI - a spiritual journey back".

********

Remo finished his classes and the radio hours for the day. He was happy he learned something new and understood the importance of how everything that starts, finally ends with a search of how it began. He unlocked his BMX, his headphones ready and off he went back home. He was listening to "The Beatles" and was admiring the origins of Rock music.

Lavina emailed her research paper back to the professor. Her eyes glowed with happiness for the achievement. She gave credit to the 'learners walk' and to the quote of the day. She learnt the importance of life and it’s longing to return back to its source. She started her car and zoomed through the streets of Bosia.

*******

Ethan picked the college newspaper and read the main headline to Julie.

'Two students die in an accident'

Remo had taken a sharp turn around the corner of the road. The music was too loud and he did not realize there was a car coming from the other side of the road. He tried to save himself but could not control the bicycle and went straight through under the tires of the car.

Lavina realized that she was going to hit someone on a bicycle, she tried to save him and moved the car in another direction but it was too late. The bicycle slipped through with Remo under the tires of her car and in an attempt to save the guy she hit head-on into a tree.

"That really is sad. Hope they have returned peacefully", sighed Julie.

"Yeah. Oh! There is a mistake. The quote of the day has been repeated. It was there in yesterday's edition as well"