Dark desert

With your eyes closed, the serenity in the sound of silence is so peaceful that you get absorbed in its intangible existence - as if something eternal has hypnotized you and asked you to pledge for no return. The occasional hiss of the wind springs you back to reality but the need for more makes you wish for the time to come to an end.

The scintillating stars, like fireflies, stuck as shadows ahead of the dark and boundless sky, wait for you to sight them and combine them, to make them look like your world and give meaning to their existence. They die in front of your eyes reminding you that forever is nothing. They cast an unbelievable spell of uninhibited beauty that you can only feel but cannot touch because it reaches as far as sight can take.

The light of day will take this away. Let me dream in this darkness.

Face of love

jeena kaisa pyar bina [what is life without love?]
is duniya mein aaye ho to [now that you have come to this world]
ek duje se pyar karo [love each other, one another]
jeena kaisa pyar bina [what is life without love?]
is duniya mein aaye ho to [now that you have come to this world]
ek duje se pyar karo [love each other, one another]

look in the eyes
of the face of love
look in her eyes
oh, there is peace
no, nothing dies
within pure light
only one hour
of this pure love
to last a life
of thirty years
only one hour
so come and go

(Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan & Eddie Vedder)

Childish excitement

That's the feeling when you get a gift of a lifetime. The excitement takes away sleep, makes you do things you would never conceive of otherwise, brings smiles at unusual times just because you thought about it all over again - something the world does not understand. Yes, with time the excitement recedes because the focus turns to preserving the gift and cherishing the good fortune forever. If you are smart, you would invest time in it and make sure it brings a better future and happiness over a lifetime rather than a short lived season.

But it scares you too. It makes you realize what its worth. It tells you that its a lot more than you had thought and if you don't care for it, it will fade. It takes you back in time, reminding you of what 'never was' and makes you appreciate what 'is'. Worse, however, is to know that you may never get it - just like the setting sun gives the illusion that it is fated to be in the ocean, but is actually destined to be alone.

I want to live in this dream of anticipation, hoping that one day I will wake up and have my gift. I know, my childish excitement would have no boundaries but I know once I have it, once its mine, I will take care of it, and keep it for myself, not for a season, but for as long as I can.

Time Bomb

I'm a ticking time bomb

Waiting to blow my top

No one would ever know

Not until I blew up

No one would believe it

He was such a normal man

Shake their heads and wonder why

If Martians fell from the sky

What would that do to god?

Would we put the weapons down

Or aim it up at the sky

No one would believe it

Except the fucking nut jobs

They laugh and cry

"we told you so!"

Baby when I get home

I want to believe in Jesus

Hammer in the final nail

Help me pick up the pieces

When everything starts to fall

So fast that it terrifies you

When will you hit the wall?

Are you gonna learn to fly?

No one would believe it

Except for all the people

Watching as you fly away

Baby when I get home

I want to pick up the pieces

Hammer in the final nail

And lean me up against jesus

Baby when I get home

I want to believe in Jesus

Hammer in the final nail

Help me pick up the pieces

Baby when I get home

Help me pick up the pieces

Hammer in the final nail

I wanna believe in Jesus

(Dave Matthews)

Living the fantasy

Its not that it happens all the time but there is a strange disguised happiness in all of it. Its like the happening called 'a smile', without really realizing it happened. And when the realization does strike it brings another smile only this time its different. Its the belief that the dream is a reality - at least because there is an image to it - and no one can take that away. Maybe the story is different every single time but the reality of the matter is, that its nice to be in it; its nice to know that it can happen even if its just a mere illusion of imagination.

I live different lives somewhere in the the small secluded zone of my imagination. These lives are mine and mine only.