sAy Waaa?

Personally, I think people who work in customer service are the most stressed out individuals in the world (unless you are one of the those guys from the movie "Transformers" picking his nose and selling a credit card). Working cusomter service has its charm (at least that is how I think) - you get the chance to speak to different people and know a lot about the human race only by listening what they have to say.

I wanted to open an account in one of the banks. After sumbitting the webform for information about the product, I was called within 24 hours (impressive). The guy said something for like 3-4 seconds and then waited for me to say something. Silent, I had no idea what to say becaue I did not understand anything he said. Then my lazy memory reminded me that he was simply greeting me. I asked him about the product and he gave me all the explanation in the most difficult british accent I have ever heard. For a moment I assumed he was british (which was surprising because there are no "GREAT?" Britain personnel in customer service). I asked him "Who am I speaking to?" "FA'HH'D" was his answer, in a typical arabic accent with enough weight on the 'h' to make it look like an 'n'.

After some time I wanted to clear out a few misunderstandings and called the bank again. I was happy to hear the british accent again, only this time it was a different "mate".

Me: "I want ............... " blah blah blah.
Accent: "Certainly sir, you can go to any of the branches". Beautifully british.
Me: "but ................ " blah blah blah
Accent: "No problem sir we can take care of it". Kinda British.
Me. "I did speak to ........................." blah blah blah
Accent: "Sir, I am telling you know, that there will NAAT be a any prAblem" Aha !!! Desi.

I have seen so many cases wherein an accent goes bad because it is being put on like a loose fitted shirt. People many a times do not realize it and those who do, try to cover it up by re-cloning it, which just makes it worse. I guess "Crow walked a swans gait, forgot its own" is always true even when if it is said in british accent.

Simple Man

Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
it will help you some sunny day.

Take your time... don’t live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and you’ll find love,
And don’t forget son,
There is someone up above.

And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Wont you do this for me son,
if you can?

Forget your lust for the rich mans gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
is to be satisfied.

Boy, don’t you worry... you’ll find yourself.
Follow you heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
is to be satisfied.

(Lynyrd Skynyrd, Shinedown)

It starts with uno.

"Do you lie?" asked the officer in a loud voice, common in the military. "No, sir" shouted Oscar. "Would you lie if I asked you to?" roared the officer again. "Yes, sir" yelled Oscar without too much thought. His answer would have been different a few months ago.

Oscar joined the military academy directly from high school. He could still remember how his hands trembled when he had opened the acceptance letter. All his dreams of becoming a professor were shattered. It also came as a surprise to him; the acceptance. He had tried his best to fail the interview. He did not realize that his father, Mark Anthony, was a high profile General in the army and it was his wish that Oscar joins the army.

It was his first day in the academy. He was just roaming around when he was stopped by a few seniors. He knew ragging was culturally acceptable in the academy. To him, however, it was nothing but a waste of time, misuse of seniority and a disgusted way of having fun. "Where are you going?" asked one. "To my room, sir" replied Oscar. "Don't you know you are supposed to salute and greet your seniors?", shouted another. Oscar had heard this kind of noise almost every other day at home so it did not scare him. "I am sorry sir but today is my first day. I was not aware", replied Oscar. "You were not aware?. That is not an excuse. You need to be punished for misbehaving with your seniors and ......", "but I did not misbehave at all, I just did not know" Oscar cut through the conversation. "That is another punishment. You are saying that your seniors are lying?", shouted the tallest of them and this time Oscar felt a bit scared. He knew he was not supposed to disagree with anything the seniors said. But that is how he was; will not say "YES" to wrong and will not say "NO" to right. "For disrespecting your seniors, you will not have dinner in the mess tonight, and for your peanut sized head, as permanent future reference, get atop that tree and shout at the top of your voice 'I will never forget to greet, or mummy I wont get to eat' until its dark. And, should you even think of getting down I will make sure this continues for the rest of the week. Do you understand?". Oscar just nodded his head in acceptance.

After a few months in the academy, Oscar realized that there is no way he can get out. He had planned so many times of quitting but always thought about his father's reputation. Running away was not an option, for one because the walls of the academy were too high and two it's the army; they will hunt him down and make sure his father is made aware of his actions. He was never the rough 'n' tough type. Although a Genral's son he was never inclined towards wars, guns or fighter planes. Instead he was interested in poetry, philosophy and religion. However, now in the academy he had to pretend to be tough to survive.

It was Fall and he had been in the academy for a full year. He was enjoying his so called "seniority" only because no one would pick on him and for the first time he had the opportunity to be himself. Fall also meant a new batch joining the academy and a completely new set of individuals to pick on.

Raul and Alvin were two new boys in the batch. Oscar would, partly, identify himself with them - Raul because he was a high profile General's son and Alvin because he was a mellow nice boy from a small town with dreams shattered because of his father's own vision for him. They were both completely opposite to each other - Raul was a mischievious, disrespectful crook always on the lookout for new and improved evil, while Alvin would follow the rules and read poetry. Somehow both reminded Oscar of himself.

One day as Alvin was walking out of his class and Raul stopped him alongwith a few seniors. Raul, because of his father's status would hang around with a lot of seniors who helped him in getting out of punishable situations. He also loathed Alvin and thought of him as a sissy roach whose purpose in the academy was just to let people step on him without killing him so as to have another opporunity at it. "Where the hell are you going?" asked Raul. "Back to my room, Raul", replied Alvin as softly as he could. "Speak up loud you squeky little rat. And call me Sir, don't you know who I am?" shouted Raul. Alvin looked around and saw all the seniors looking at him almost waiting for him to make a mistake and they could just eat him. "I am sorry sir, I will not make this mistake again" said Alvin, this time scared. Silent for a moment, thinking of his next move, Raul came up with a punishment for Alvin. "You were going to take these stairs to your room right Alvin?", asked Raul and continued without a response from Alvin. "Take the stairs to your room but make sure you don't walk. Forward roll to your room." Alvin could not believe what he had heard, neither did the seniors. It is common in the military to have punishments but this was way beyond the border line. Alvin had no choice. He bent his back and off he went, rolling down the stairs like a cart wheel only to realize after a while that he could not feel anything. The last thing he heard was "STOP! dont do it."

Although Oscar was used to the military environment, his spirit was not completely dead. He would still sneak out to read about cultures and philosophies at every opportunity. He would meditate and try to find solutions to his problems and understand the true meaning of his existence. One day as he walked out from his room for his class he heard some noise in the corridoor. Curious to know, he walked to the corridoor hiding behind a pillar and peeped to see what was going on. To his surprise he saw Alvin bending towards the stairs with Raul and some seniors watching. "STOP! dont do it" shouted Oscar, but it was too late.

Alvin was in coma for more than a week now. He had hurt his spinal cord and doctors were not very hopeful. The only witness to what had happened was Oscar. Raul and his senior mates were aware of this because they saw him there when he shouted. They simply ran away from the scene and knew that nothing would happen because no one would believe Oscar. Raul had already mentioned it to his father who in turn spoke to senior officials who were ready to carry Raul through it if something goes wrong. Raul had also threatened Oscar not to open his mouth or else he'd be suspended from the academy and his father would have to live with shame and disgust.

Oscar was in a strange dilemma. He knew even if he said the truth no one would believe him and even if someone did, Raul did not do it intentionally. He reminded himself of the situation Raul would be in because then Raul's father would be disgraced. On the other hand poor Alvin was in a coma. Did he deserve this at all? As he was trying to find a solution to his wandering thoughts a senior officer walked into his room.
"How are you Oscar", asked the officer in a very calm voice which surprised Oscar.
"I am well, sir, thank you".
"Please sit down" again the calm voice - this time it scared Oscar.
"I know you are aware of the situation. We have to decide now what is it that we should so that the damage is minimal. Raul's father is a man of honor and so is yours. I dont think we should take any step that would bring a bad name to your families".
"I do not understand, sir", Oscar just wanted to be clear on what was expected of him.
"Alvin is a nice boy and he did not deserve what he got. But whatever happened was more fateful than intentional. I am sure the doctors are doing their best to make sure Alvin is fine". Oscar knew for sure what was coming next. "I dont want to take too much of your time, Oscar, just wanted to make sure you were alright about our plan for this incident. Alvin slipped and hurt himself and no one says anything".
Oscar was quiet for a while looking down in disgust and astonishment - disgusted because it was not justice and astonished because for the first time he felt his spirit was dead.
The officer having not heard anything from Oscar stood up and said, "very well then Oscar. It was good to know that you agree to what we think. We will then see you tomorrow."
As he walked out Oscar stood up saying "excuse me, sir. I have not made my decision yet".
The officer turned around in fury and shouted in Oscar's ear "I am not giving you a choice Oscar. I am telling you what to do. Do you lie"?
"No, sir" shouted Oscar.
"Would you lie if I asked you to?" roared the officer again.
"Yes, sir" yelled Oscar without too much thought.
"Good. It better stay that way" and the officer left.
Oscar's answer would have been different a few months ago.

Oscar did not sleep the entire night. All he thought of was his next step. He never knew choosing right from wrong would be so hard. He kept thinking of the days when he had first come to the academy. His wandering thoughts made him realize his mistake. He never thought it would come to this point and the change around him would change him so much that he would not know what to do. He remembered the first time he had said yes to the wrong and how it all started. If only he did not accept the ragging as part of the culture and had raised his voice to the seniors at that time, then today people would believe him. The more he thought about it the more he understood.

He realized that society is based on individuals who make it and who run it. If at any point there is something wrong happening in the society it has to be stopped. If it is not done, in time it becomes part of the society and is readily accepted as a modern thought replacing the old bane. Multiple examples started flowing in his mind and he analyzed each one of them one by one:

Dirty Politics - he thought - and politicians are part of the society now. It all started with a few dirty politicians and then it spread across cultures and countries and today, a few corrupt politicians are normal.

Prostitution he thought is not wrong any more. There was a time when prostitution was the right of only the upper class. Initially it got accepted amongst The "NOBLE"s of the country who would have legitimate mistresses while they were married. Slowly, the evil spread further into the society and no one wants to be married anymore because it is too much responsibility and no one takes any notice to stop it. Now, pleasure is readily available on the streets and is sold in shops. Women roam the streets looking for customers and it is acceptable because it is a part of the society. Yes, he thought, it all starts with one.

Homosexuality he thought was more acceptable and natural than ever before. GOD has not made everything perfect. Not because HE could not, but because that was not HIS purpose. Humans who are naturally born unfortunate should be acceptable within the society and should have rights to exist. But what happened when evil set into the minds of few. Those who were born perfectly fine but had inclinations towards the same gender decided on their own what to choose. It started of as an unacceptable evil and in time it got acceptable as a "right of free speech". Today homosexuals have rights to get married and people who do not accept it are thought of as unsophisticated and primitive in their thoughts. Oscar asked himself that if a man has inclinations towards murder or rape, should he be allowed to do it? No. Because it is not natural.

Divorce he thought was once the worse thing to happen in a house. Today, it exists as normal as paying bills. People who are married for a long time are thought of as either angels or loosers who could not find someone better their whole life. Whatever happend to sacrifice and sincerity?

Swearing he thought was the worse mistake a child could make. He rememberd the first time he said SHUT UP! on the phone to a crank caller and the beating he got from his father. And SHUT UP! is not even swearing. There was a time when the people would never say the "F" word even by mistake but today it is acceptable as part of daily speech. He thought it all must have started with someone finding its use funny when used multiple times in the same sentence.

Movies he thought were made to entertain people with romance being simple, innocent and beautiful. The touching of hands by mistake would be considered the beginning of a new and lasting relationship. If an actress would kiss a man or show too much skin in a movie she would either be a villain or a prostitute. Today she is a superstar if she does it in real life. If an actor would cheat on his wife in the movie he would be the villain. Today it brings him fame in real life and a bunch of women waiting in line to be with him. There was a time when "BITCH" was a swear word and today it is an essential part of the script.

Oscar went on to think so many wrongs in the society and the increase over time only because nothing was being done to stop it right in the beginning. He was so absorbed into these thoughts that he failed to realize it was morning. He got up, and walked to the restroom and washed his face. As he looked up into the mirror Alvin's smiling face flashed in front of him. He washed his face again and looked into the mirror and saw Alvin's face again, only this time he was in a coma. Frightened he ran outside and stood in the balcony to see the sun rise through the dark. He prayed to God for mercy and kept the thoughts running and finally made up his mind that he will not hide the truth.

In the afternoon, Oscar walked fast to the hospital to see Alvin and let out the truth. The only thing going through his mind was "what would happen to my father and his reputation?"; "what would happen to Raul's future?"; above all "what would happen to my future?". He shunned all the thoughts and kept praying to God for mercy and a solution. In his heart he knew what he was going to do was right but he was also sure that he was not ready for the consequences.
As he entered the hospital he saw a lot of people and doctors around Alvin's room. Oscar's heart stopped. He did not breathe. He knew he was late. How would he forgive himself for knowing what was right and never doing anything about it? He walked close to the room and through all the people and his heart stopped once again. Alvin had his eyes open and a nurse was serving him soup. Oscar's prayers were answered.

Alvin was back from the dead. He was able to speak but was paralyzed neck down. It took five months of physiotherapy to get him back onto his feet. He told the investigation committee the truth and Raul was relieved of his duties and suspended from the academy.

Oscar was happy to see Alvin back. But he was more happy to have made the right decision and decided that he will never accept anything wrong just because it is part of the culture or part of the society. God has made him the best of all beings only because he can think and act. He knew it would be difficult and his patience would be tested but he knew this was just the start, and it all starts with one.

Mae ni Mae

Shiv Kumar Batalvi